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September 24, 2005

Eye-ful in the sky

At the risk of offending my German reader again

A group of Italian tourists got rather more than they bargained for when they decided to take a ride on the giant ferris wheel at the Munich Oktoberfest. Instead of getting a bird's eye view of the world famous beer festival they were treated to rather more shocking sight.

Two men and a woman joined them in the gondola, and promptly started to film an amateur porn movie. Unable to get off the ride, the tourists had to avert their gaze as the woman brandished a vibrator for the camera.

The actress, a political scientist and a student were arrested and charged with public indecency. "They said they weren’t doing it for commercial reasons," the police said. "They wanted to see how visitors would react.”

The Oktoberfest continues until October 3 and is expected to attract six million people, who will drink in the region of 5.5 million litres of beer. And just to show that beer is king in Germany…

Fans of Hamburg have won 10,000 litres of beer from a brewery, who put up the prize for the first team to beat Bayern Munich after they won the first six games of the season in the Bundesliga. “We wanted to create a bit of excitement,” the brewery said. “We’ve nothing against Bayern but there must be some tension.”

Posted by Steve at 10:48 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Technorati ()
Technorati tags: Tags: amateur: Bayern: beer: Bundesliga: festival: football: Germany: Italy: Hamburg: movie: Munich: Oktoberfest: porn: sex: soccer: vibrator:


September 17, 2005

Pulling the wool

What's that they say about life imitating art?

A herd of sheep have been penned in a deserted factory in Zagreb and are constantly in the camera's gaze as they are visited by a flock of famous writers who try to entertain the poor lambs with readings from their works.

The event, part of an arts festival, has become a smash hit on Croatian television, which probably says a great deal about the standard of entertainment on offer in that part of the world. And not only can you follow every bleat on the web, you also get to vote for which sheep is next for the chop. If the beast chosen for eviction is not adopted by a viewer then the poor thing is headed for the slaughterhouse.

As you might imagine, the do-gooders do not approve. The Stado show has got the animal rights activists' goat. They've described the project as “scandalous” and said that people were being pressured into adopting a sheep just to save it from slaughter.

Sinisa Labrovic, whose idea it was, said: “I’m not torturing them. I am not an insensitive bastard who abuses animals." He claims the show is satire. "It shows that more and more people, especially those who take part in reality shows, are made to look like sheep in every situation”.

Pass the mint sauce please.

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Technorati tags: Tags: art: Croatia: festival: lamb: mutton: reality: sheep: website: Zagreb:


September 08, 2005

Pretty pictures

I've replaced the photo of the day (which being rather large made it hard to see if anything new had been posted) with some scrolling thumbnails (above)

The code is still being tweaked, and more images are yet to be added, but mouse over pauses the display and clicking on any of the pictures will take let you see more.

You did know there were lots of wonderful photos on this site didn't you? No! Then you should take a look.

Posted by Steve at 10:37 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Technorati ()
Technorati tags: Tags: lionheart: photography: website:


September 07, 2005

Out of tune

SK Berlaar women's team came about when a group of friends in Belgium got tired of standing on the sidelines watching their partners playing football. Something that started out as a bit of fun soon became an organised side, more than capable of holding their own in competitive matches. Unfortunately, this season Berlaar got drawn against the mighty KV Mechelen in the Antwerp Cup. Just to make matters worse, their first-choice goalkeeper decided to take the day off to go to a concert.

Stand-in goalkeeper Charlotte Jacobs must have had a sense of impending doom when Mechelen scored a mere four seconds after the kick-off. Come the interval and Berlaar were 27-0 down. "But after half-time we were able to recover," Jacobs said, trying to look on the bright side. "We only had to suffer another 23 goals and we scored once ourselves, right at the end. They allowed us to score. That was sweet of them.”

It's not clear what is the biggest losing margin ever in a competitive match, but the women of Berlaar definitely deserve a mention in football's hall of fame, if only for refusing to give up in the face of such overwhelming adversity.

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Technorati tags: Tags: Belgium: Berlaar: defeat: football: goalkeeper: losers: Mechelen: soccer:


Sense of humour failure

Oh dear,

I've barely started exploring the "strange but true" / "wry sideways look at life" / "are people really that stupid" ... genre and I've annoyed someone already. So I guess I'm doing something right?

Athene Aquinas seems to have taken offence at the Everything you ever heard about Germans and deckchairs is true... post

"Hmm, I see you like Germans..." the resident of Munich moans. They've obviously got the hump.

Actually no. I don't like Germans. But nor do I dislike Germans either (go visit Spain if you want to meet people who SERIOUSLY don't like Germans). I'm totally neutral.

The account of the idiot who tried to get rid of the spiders with a D.I.Y flame-thrower would have been equally hilarious, whatever the nationality involved. Stupidity transcends state borders. So the fact that a German was involved is totally irrelevant.

But, like it or not, you have to accept that when it comes to sun-loungers by the pool then Germans have a certain reputation. And they can hardly complain if their behaviour reinforces the prejudice.

Was I "taking the Michael" for pointing this out? A note for the linguistically challenged... If you don't understand "taking the Michael" then go ask a friendly local Oirish-man. And assuming that he doesn't come from there in the first place, he can probably tell you some cracking tales about how stupid the folk are in Kerry. Other people's idiocy is a lingua franca after all.

So is this stereotyping? Only if you are so politically correct you really shouldn't be here in the first place. Or is it, to borrow from the Strine, "ripping the piss"? Yep, you've got the idea. If you haven't managed at least a little smirk or grimace then you obviously live in Germany and are suffering an acute sense of humour failure.

And as my correspondent wrote

> "Under that same logic, Americans would then be like Michael Jackson or was it Mike Tyson?"

Had they bothered to read rather than jump to conclusions, they might have got the impression that I think there are quite a few idiot Mercuns out there too. See the Cheeseburger in Caseville post for a prime example.

And if they really think we Brits can't laugh at ourselves they've obviously ignored, or missed the point of, Elspeth is right

Fear not. I promise I won't be horrid to Germans / Americans / (insert nationality to suit) in the next post. Unless you're from Belgium. Because it is their turn next. You know that old question about "how many famous Belgians can you name"? Most people can manage two (maybe).

I've got another 11 to add to the list. Though whether they'll want to be reminded about their place in the "Hall of Fame" is moot. But mockery is the best form of humour, after all.

Watch this space.

Posted by Steve at 12:11 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack | Technorati ()
Technorati tags: Tags: America: angry: Belgium: Caseville: cheeseburger: deckchair: fools: Germany: humour: Mercuns: Munich: pool: sad: Spain: spiders: Strine: stupid: towel:


September 06, 2005

Everything you ever heard about Germans and deckchairs is true...

A German pensioner was so attached to his deckchair that he attacked a woman who moved his towel to another lounger at the pool in Bad Endbach.

When the 76-year-old man returned to his favourite spot he was furious to discover that a woman had moved his towel so she could sit next to her mother. "The other chair was just the same, but he didn’t want to use it," a policeman said.

The pensioner swore at the shocked woman and when she still didn't move he tipped the chair over, throwing her to the ground. “She couldn’t believe he went so far over such a trifle," the police said.

Posted by Steve at 05:12 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack | Technorati ()
Technorati tags: Tags: angry: deckchair: Germany: pensioners: pool: stupid: towel:


September 03, 2005

Bad hair day

A German woman destroyed her family home as she tried to kill spiders in the garage with a can of hairspray and a cigarette lighter.

Police in Zuelpich said that when the aerosol failed to kill the spiders the woman tried to burn them with the lighter. But this set the area she had just sprayed on fire and the blaze spread to a hedge. “She tried to put the fire out with a garden hose, but couldn’t," the police said.

"Instead, her semi-detached house next to the hedge caught fire. It’s now uninhabitable. The family have had to look for somewhere else to stay. The spiders are gone though; that problem was solved.”

Posted by Steve at 02:36 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Technorati ()
Technorati tags: Tags: fire: garage: Germany: hair: home: lighter: spiders: stupid:


Elspeth is right

A pensioner who kept detailed records for more than 20 years on how many times he cut the grass has had them used as part of a major study on climate change.

David Grisenthwaite has made a note of every time he used his mower at his home in Kirkcaldy since 1984. He began recording the time and date of every occasion he cut the grass simply for the fun of it. “It all started when the Woodland Trust were looking for people to take part in a little ecological study," he said. "I just kept on going. I would make a note of when I’d cut the lawn and, of course, when you do it once you have to do it again. And once you’ve done it for a year you have to do another year to make a comparison with the last one. It only takes a second and it would be unforgivable to forget."

He also records how much garden waste he shreds and has memorised the bus timetables for Cumbria from the present day (not a lot of use when you are living in Scotland!) going back to 1920. Mr Grisenthwaite, who mowed the lawn this morning for the 32nd time this year said his long-suffering wife of 39 ears, Elspeth, 69, thought he was mad. “Elspeth is also a keen gardener and I just provide the labour really. She thinks I’m a nutter."

In case anyone thinks this is just too daft to be true, Mr Grisenthwaite’s data has been published in volume 60 of the Royal Meteorological Society Journal, titled: The Grass is Greener - For Longer".

Posted by Steve at 01:27 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Technorati ()
Technorati tags: Tags: buses: climate: Cumbria: gardening: grass: Kirkcaldy: lawnmower: sad: Scotland: timetable: weather:



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